This is the first time I have ever shared a picture of our Taylor Brooke publicly. We had a shadow box made with her keepsakes after we laid her to rest. We keep it safely tucked in the corner of our closet, so we will always remember. This time of year is when I think about her the most. Today would have been her 19th birthday!
A few weeks ago, I awakened to a dream that left me yearning to know why I dreamed it. It was one of those dreams that had to have purpose. I was at a conference with thousands of people that I couldn’t see. Their faces were darkened by the auditorium lights. I was alone and didn’t know anyone around me. When I looked to the stage I could not even see the entertainers as the light cast a shadow on their faces. The only thing that I could clearly see was the sign on the stage that read, “SELAH.” Then I woke up!
What was that? Why, Lord, was I there and who or what in the world is Selah? Those were my questions when I was alone with Him in my morning time. So I went on a pursuit to find out what it meant.
Wikipedia says Selah is a word used 74 times in the Hebrew bible – 71 times in the Psalms and three times in the Book of Habakkuk. The meaning of the word is not known, though various interpretations are given below. (It should not be confused with the Hebrew word sela which means “rock”, or in an adjective form, “like a rock”, i.e.: firm, hard, heavy.) It is probably either a liturgico-musical mark or an instruction on the reading of the text, something like “stop and listen.”
Okay, so now The Lord had my attention. He wanted me to stop and listen, but listen to what? Directly below the Wikipedia definition of “Selah” on my search engine were images of the Christian Trio group and a list of their songs they sing. I am terrible at knowing Artist’s names, but I always remember their songs. I scrolled through song after song that I have worshipped to so many times. I was grateful in that moment to know this group’s name, Selah. How cool! The Lord wanted me to stop and listen to their songs? Which one should I stop and listen to? I kept scrolling through the list of songs and found one that I had never heard before. Wow! I stopped and listened and the words that I heard brought me to my knees. I could not believe what I heard our Lord speak over me.
The images of an empty cradle remained frozen as the words scrolled through and the tears rolled down my face. “I will carry you while your heart beats here, long beyond the empty cradle through the coming years. I will carry you all my life. I will praise the one who’s chosen me to carry you!”
And He says, “I’ve shown her photographs of time beginning, walked her through the parted sea. Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes, who could love her like this?” I will carry you while your heart beats here, long beyond the empty cradle through the coming years. I will carry you all your life. I will praise the one who’s chosen me to carry you!”
Our Father is a comforter. He knows our hearts and when we are hurting. I am in awe to know that He can speak to us in a multitude of ways including a dream, a song, a verse, a friend, a sunrise, a sunset, through His creation. When I think back to my dream, I was surrounded by many people that I didn’t know and we were all there seeing “Selah” together. He wanted us all to stop and listen, so that’s why I open up my vulnerable heart to you on what would have been my daughter’s 19th birthday.
In her precious memory, I pray that every mom and dad that have experienced this great loss experience His amazing comfort today. I hope you find hope in knowing that our children are being shown around the Heavens with angel lullabies…no more teary eyes and one day we will see them again. I hope you find great comfort in knowing that your precious child’s life mattered and still does. The ripple effect of a life touches lives beyond the grave. Ryan and I were the only ones to hold this precious baby girl, but because her heartbeat existed, and she was born with one single breath, God gave me a dream to encourage each of you. I hope you hear His words singing to you. Stop and listen! He will carry you!
“The city streets will be filled with boys and girls playing there.” Zechariah 8:5