October is a hard month for me. It’s a month that is forever marked with brokenness after experiencing the loss of my first daughter almost 17 years ago. She would be a Senior in High School this year. It’s a kind of pain that can not be described, only felt by those who have walked in similar footsteps. Yet each year rolls around and the month of October continues to surface. I remember. This October 1st was even harder for my family. It’s been one year since my mother-in-law’s passing. I can still recall every moment of that scary day. I remember.
A few weeks ago, before October was here, I received notification that I had been chosen to be on Ann Voskamp’s book launching team. This means that I am getting the opportunity to read her new book, The Broken Way, before it is released to the public. The Broken Way! The title alone speaks to my heart but after viewing some of the first pages I know He chose me for a reason. I understand brokenness, and I understand how God meets us there. I have experienced Him in the intimacies of every broken way in me.
“We are never abandoned when we hold on to remembrance. What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it. That’s it. What matters in your life is not so much what happens to you but what you happen to remember – and how that will influence how your life happens. What and how you remember will determine if your broken,
dis-membered places will re-remember you in your broken places.” Ann Voskamp – The Broken Way
Wow! Re-read that slowly and let it sink in. How do you remember things in your broken ways? I love that God gives me the opportunity to remember. As hard as it is to face each year I remember so much beauty in it. I remember being surrounded by people that loved me. I remember my husband never leaving my side. I remember the support that surrounded me and held me up to see me through. I remember holding my first born child and loving her beyond words. I remember letting go. I remember crying. I remember every card that came in the mail to lift my spirits. I remember the flower company delivering another plant…that same plant that continues to be watered today and is alive and well. I remember!
“In Christ – no matter the way, the storm, the story – we always know the outcome.
Our Savior – surrounds.
Our future – secure.
Our joy – certain.
When we know Christ, we always know how things are going to go – always for our good and always for His glory. Somehow Love can lodge light into wounds.” Ann Voskamp – The Broken Way
Isn’t that beautiful truth! No matter what we face in this world, when we know Christ we know the outcome! Knowing Him helps me to remember differently. Knowing Him means that saying goodbye to my baby and my mother-in-law is not permanent only temporary. I have a reason to hope and lean in to my future and keep climbing, keep persevering, keep pressing on towards the goal. Listen friends…keep climbing! The best view is still yet to come. I can only imagine how it will take our breath away.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ” Romans 8:18 ESV
“And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19 ESV
Let us remember well! He gave thanks, was broken and gave himself away. What a gift we have been given. Have you accepted Him as the truth and the way to the Father? I pray you have, and I hope you continue to give it away. The gift was not intended for us to keep to ourselves. We get to keep passing on the gift…the good news of Jesus Christ. Share the good news with someone you know today.
Rivera Douthit said:
I love you. ❤
Julie Garro said:
Thank you for sharing from your heart. My Hailey would have been 16 this year. But God is good, and brings us ways to cope, and find peace and joy. Blessings to you my friend! I miss you.